More Confessions of an FB novitiate: Why I Caved

facebook engancha (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I wake in the middle of the night, shivering in a cold sweat, my heart filling to the brim with guilt because… I caved and decided to give my life data to Mark Zuckerberg. Well, this doesn’t Really Happen. Just metaphorically-speaking. But you get the point.

For years, I have enjoyed being the one who refused to jump on the Facebook bandwagon. The one who studied social media, but avoided personally mucking about in her subject matter. And if you read the previous post, you know how much I really did enjoy being Cranky about it all. But, there comes a time in one’s life when one has to re-evaluate the decisions we have made and the positions we have staked. For me, the revelation came something like this: If Queen Elizabeth is woman enough to let her Christmas message be broadcast in 3D and still manage to retain her honor, shouldn’t I be woman enough to get on Facebook?!

So, as promised, here are:

The Top 5 Reasons Why I Caved…er, Joined Facebook:

#5 The wild and woolly season of Facebook fever seems to have largely passed. Most users have come to their senses and remembered that we all have better things to do than live, breath, eat FB.

#4 My beloved no longer has to endure having me drape over his shoulder in order to read about our mutual friends or the latest Internet meme on his FB newsfeed anymore. Though, *SIGH*, perhaps we will miss such moments of technological togetherness….maybe?

#3 Truthfully now, if not for Facebook, how else am I going to get this blog on people’s radar?

#2 While ambient awareness (see Clive Thompson’s “I’m So Totally, Digitally Close to You” for more on  this concept) is typically inferior to face-to-face or even phone conversations with a friend, at times, something is better than nothing.

#1 Facebook lets me re-encounter the reality of how smart, witty, and sweet the people who have been in my life are. While FB is a pretty narrow channel through which to pipe one’s identity, the little parts of our being that do manage to eek through can still be rather satisfying and true to who we are. So that makes it worth it. I know…cheezy, but sometimes Cheez is True.

An FB Novitiate’s Confession: Why I Had Refused to Join

cranky 2/4 (Photo credit: massdistraction)

After 8 years of conscientious objection, 1 billion users, and an evening of scoffing through the Data Use and Privacy Policies, I decided to give up my peaceful technoclimate-controlled existence and get on Facebook.

Though, in my wildest dreams, I would hope that my sheer teeth-gritting presence would prove to be the kiss of death to Mark Zuckerberg’s media empire, I must admit that–as a FB novitiate–I find myself on my heels, working at merely staying on Facebook, rather that having Facebook get in me.

Anyone circa40 might summon Reality Bites and ask: “what’s your glitch?”

To distill my earlier/ongoing Facebook discontents, here are my

Top 5 Reasons for Being Cranky about Facebook:

#5 Facebook is a blunt instrument for the cultivation of relationships. It functions as if you would serve the same meal, offer the same hospitality, and tell the same story to every person you “friend”.

#4 Facebook is a major part of the social media ecology that leads us to feel that life is perpetually “happening elsewhere” (Check out  Sherry Turkle’s TED talk on being Connected, but Alone.)

#3 Facebook privileges the extrovert and the conventionally successful, and questions the legitimacy of the guarded, the poet, and the poor. This bothers me endlessly.

#2 Facebook profiles are negligently designed to ground identity and sociality solely in the individual, rather than the household or community as well.

#1 Facebook repeatedly demonstrates Mark Zuckerberg’s shocking disregard for transparency and manners when managing people’s privacy and personal information. (Which is why–having pored through all the policies, it still took me 2 full hours to join Facebook and get my settings straight…)

“OK…so, why bother joining when you are so cranky about Facebook?” you ask. Swing around later and I’ll confess my Top 5 Reasons for Joining Up in my next post.